tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post5584391794756266723..comments2023-08-06T04:09:05.980-05:00Comments on Cornell DeVille : ENTRY 41Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-55825043554768249412010-01-24T17:53:27.184-06:002010-01-24T17:53:27.184-06:00I second jennbailey. Very, very well done.I second jennbailey. Very, very well done.Birdiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11335150122105342264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-4147416989318787052010-01-24T14:41:39.525-06:002010-01-24T14:41:39.525-06:00I'm a sucker for stuff like this. I would simp...I'm a sucker for stuff like this. I would simply show his thoughts - "They're playing my song" and "God, I've got to stop drinking" as italics or set them off some other way in the text. Otherwise I love it. Great snark.jennbaileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12984596786467447031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-82299698654656585292010-01-23T22:50:01.540-06:002010-01-23T22:50:01.540-06:00I like this opening too. It gives me lots of
ideas...I like this opening too. It gives me lots of<br />ideas as to how it will proceed.<br /><br />Suzi Ambrosesuzilynnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14929201868355766224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-31081231173347343832010-01-23T02:33:08.636-06:002010-01-23T02:33:08.636-06:00Great hook. Good descriptions and I like the male ...Great hook. Good descriptions and I like the male character. <br /><br />the only thing I would do different is make the "God, I've got to stop drinking." a thought.Karin Huddlestonhttp://www.huddlekay.blogpsot.comnoreply@blogger.com