tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post7550256189671317550..comments2023-08-06T04:09:05.980-05:00Comments on Cornell DeVille : Entry 11Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-23795955591288325742010-04-26T22:50:07.232-05:002010-04-26T22:50:07.232-05:00Sorry about the typo above. I meant critique.Sorry about the typo above. I meant critique.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03216407428320615449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-32814969453189666212010-04-26T22:44:50.996-05:002010-04-26T22:44:50.996-05:00Thank you, Ms. Chilton. I really appreciate you ta...Thank you, Ms. Chilton. I really appreciate you taking the time to critiquing my query. Getting feedback from an agent is fantastic. I’ll certainly take your advice. I made an error when posting my word count. It’s actually 25,000 words, and aimed at confident readers aged seven to eleven. It could be illustrated, but would read okay without. I'll also work on making it longer.<br /><br />Thanks also, Michael. What a great opportunity you gave us all.<br /><br />And, thank you everyone else for the helpful feedback. I’ll go work on it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03216407428320615449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-64054187706590088212010-04-26T21:58:01.320-05:002010-04-26T21:58:01.320-05:00My first thought about your manuscript when readin...My first thought about your manuscript when reading this query is about your word count: 17,000 words does not fall within the standard length for Middle Grade (which, I'd say, is 30-40k). If you're pitching this as a good candidate for a highly-illustrated format, I suggest you say that up front, and/or mention some others in that format among your comp titles. <br /><br />I'd like to get a stronger sense of a kid's voice here. Sentences like "They only care about hairstyles and clothes" are written in an adult voice, and they distance me from the story. <br /><br />I may be misunderstanding the format you intend for this manuscript; if you referenced comp titles I would have a reference point and likely wouldn't be confused.Jamie Weiss Chiltonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-49356661260905658332010-04-19T02:26:36.200-05:002010-04-19T02:26:36.200-05:00Solid query with a good plotline and an interestin...Solid query with a good plotline and an interesting voice. It promises to offer something new and exciting. I'd want to read more.JaydeSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-32092100169933933092010-04-15T00:04:14.019-05:002010-04-15T00:04:14.019-05:00Love this story, it is original. Good writing.Love this story, it is original. Good writing.June V. Bourgo, Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12242974662704802965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-1437845009792210172010-04-14T20:47:27.846-05:002010-04-14T20:47:27.846-05:00Thanks everyone. I'll work on it.Thanks everyone. I'll work on it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03216407428320615449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-88950751716314870822010-04-13T17:43:49.944-05:002010-04-13T17:43:49.944-05:00Love it! Great job.Love it! Great job.Lisa Stenzelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08651242092064396004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-91664466340945165092010-04-12T21:28:02.883-05:002010-04-12T21:28:02.883-05:00I enjoy Fairy stories and I LOVE that this is diff...I enjoy Fairy stories and I LOVE that this is different than the typical "fairy" story. <br />The "not-so-perfect-fairy" vs the little girl with physical challenges. Not a physicaly disability but something that MG kids would step away and avoid the new girl. <br />I wish we had to post your first three chapters so I could read this! The story sounds captivating!<br />Good luck!!Wanitanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-58678743646121745732010-04-12T12:22:35.176-05:002010-04-12T12:22:35.176-05:00I think this could use a bit of tightening, but I ...I think this could use a bit of tightening, but I really like the premise a lot - I've always been a sucker for fairies.<br /><br />My concern is that Rosebery offered a wish for helping her, but then she can't grant the wish. Is she unaware that her powers are gone? That could be explained very quickly.<br /><br />I also like the personality of the fairy - and the poor little bald girl. Good grief! <br /><br />I think this would be a hilarious read. Hope to see more of it.<br /><br />Oh, but that last line about hoping your query is good enough? I would lose that one and just stop and the ms. being available.Cordelia Dinsmorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10704456269484202163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-29949247274274174562010-04-12T11:59:25.052-05:002010-04-12T11:59:25.052-05:00Sounds like this would have enough action in it to...Sounds like this would have enough action in it to keep a MG reader interested. Good premise!Dorothy Dreyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07359417869474783409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-54406494900501195002010-04-12T11:38:59.958-05:002010-04-12T11:38:59.958-05:00This sounds like an interesting idea, actually I w...This sounds like an interesting idea, actually I wish it was longer because I can imagine a lot of interesting things being done with it. There's built in sympathy for Velvet, and you convey that well in the query.<br /><br />I'm a little confused about the fairy though. How could it look like a football and then dress up in doll clothes? Maybe it's just me, but the image I had from the first part didn't match what I got from the second. Either way, you've got an idea that sounds fresh which is always good!<br /><br />Best of luck!Natasha Roguehttp://thewritingblues.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8939951804632494408.post-77995092942578962682010-04-12T11:38:02.326-05:002010-04-12T11:38:02.326-05:00I want to read this. It's not your ordinary f...I want to read this. It's not your ordinary fairy story. Great job showing the personalities of the characters with so few words.Hhookhttp://www.hollyannehook.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com