Nathan Bransford has a regular blog post regarding a one-sentence, one-paragraph, two-paragraph pitch. I'm going to tag along on his coattails and post something similar. My apologies to Nathan if I'm stepping on toes.
This could be a very interesting exercise that might be beneficial when you start writing your query for your current WIP. So, here's what we're going to do:
WRITE A ONE-SENTENCE PITCH FOR YOUR CURRENT WIP.
MAXIMUM WORD COUNT IS 50.
Now if you think that's hard, I want you to cut it in half.
WRITE A ONE-SENTENCE PITCH FOR YOUR CURRENT WIP.
MAXIMUM WORD COUNT IS 25.
Post both versions as a comment below this post and let us see what you came up with.
I'm having trouble with the comments form. I apologize if this double posts!
ReplyDeleteOkay, this is for my mainstream novel, DOUBTING RIVER:
<50 words:
Twenty years after running away, CHARM FREEMAN returns home to help his newly widowed sister and gets drawn into his nephew’s quest to turn an injured retriever into a field champion and save their crumbling family from personal and financial ruin.
25 words:
A boy and his wayward uncle join together to turn an injured retriever into a champion and save their family from personal and financial ruin.
Melissa,
ReplyDeleteThanks for playing! I wanted to comment on what you posted. Your story reminds me of "The Biscuit Eater" and "Bugle Anne." Both of those films involved hunting dogs, and they were packed with emotion. I'm betting your story is just as packed with emotional scenes - but - your pitch doesn't show it as well as it could. Tug at my heart strings and make me feel the anguish and the pride in the relationship between the boy and his uncle and, of course, the dog.
Just a suggestion. I think adding or somehow alluding to that element in your story will be very helpful when you're writing your query.
What a great idea! This is from my science fantasy SENDEK.
ReplyDeleteThe 39 word pitch (I had a hard time making it longer):
In a world where the people ignore the magic all around them in favor of science and technology, one woman, ostracized for her strange eyes, must embrace her magical abilities to save her planet from an invading alien force.
Here is my 22 word pitch:
When a lonely scientist’s nightmares become reality, she must embrace her magical abilities to save her people from an invading alien force.
Suggestions?
It's obvious you know what your story is about. That's a bonus, because a lot of us can't boil it down to such a basic premise. Suggestions? The only word that sticks out at me is "embrace." It sounds weak, soft and passive. I think you could punch it up a bit with a slightly different verb, although it might require changing the sentence structure.
ReplyDeleteGood job!
Here's my 50 for my Women's Fiction Novel: Quattro
ReplyDeletePsychologists have a ‘code’; don’t fall for your patients. Liela was engaged to Carlo, and had every intentions of marrying, until Mitch came into her life. On the cusp of her PTSD study she realized the ‘code’ doesn’t take precedent on her heart. She throws what she thought was love out the window to embrace truth.
Sorry here's the 25 word for the same novel:
ReplyDeletePsychologists have a ‘code’; don’t fall for your patients. But when Mitch entered her life she threw that ‘code’ out the window for true love.
For the nonfiction book: 1,001 Real-Life Questions for Women.
ReplyDelete49 WORDS: When's the last time you stopped to consider who you truly are and what you want from/for your life? These questions will guide your exploration of those answers, and more than likely reveal that as alone as you might sometimes feel, many other women share your feelings and experiences.
25 WORDS: Who are you and what do you want for/from your life? Alone as you might sometimes feel, many other women share your feelings and experiences.
Fantasy (almost romance) novel: KINGDOM OF RED
ReplyDelete43 words: While trying to help a lost little girl, Caroline finds herself tumbling into a world where Little Red Riding Hood loved a wolf, the huntsman was the bad guy, and where a single child can change the relationship between wolves and humans forever.
24 words: Caroline studies wolves for a living and knows everything about them, but in the Kingdom of Red, wolves are far from what they seem.
Okay, here's mine, for my YA novel Assignment 9
ReplyDelete33 words: Traumatized by a childhood in which the people closest to her disappeared, Casey faces her demons through writing an assignment and finds the courage to pursue a relationship with the equally scarred Mark.
25 words: An autobiography assignment leads Casey to acknowledge the roots of her fears and gives her the strength to let the equally damaged Mark into her life.
Pitches for my YA fantasy, The Healer:
ReplyDelete46 words:
When Actae is attacked, leaving hundreds injured, THERA AIRALDI must decide whether to use the healing powers she has kept secret since childhood. She could save many lives but she will lose the respect of those she loves most, and possibly her life, in the process.
20 words:
When Actae is attacked, THERA AIRALDI must decide between the lives of hundreds or her relationship with her oldest friend.
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ReplyDeleteFor my Chapter Book: STAR CROSSED RASCALS
ReplyDelete50 Words: When Polly Wild and her best friend, Gertie chew bubblegum they’ve scraped from the pavement, they’re permanently separated. Polly disobeys her Aunty and is given chores. Useless at cleaning, Polly breaks the toilet and destroys the kitchen. Panicking, she hoses her Aunty out the door and runs away with Gertie.
25 Words: When Polly Wild and her best friend get caught chewing bubblegum they’ve scraped from the pavement, they’re banned from playing together, so they run away.
One sentence pitches for my Chapter Book, Pandora.
ReplyDelete34 words - couldn't stretch one sentence to 50, sorry. Pandora may not be a trend-setter in her checkerboard coat, but she's stylish enough to realize that even a cow with half a brain would know that it's what's on the inside that counts.
25 words - Pandora is a checkerboard cow on a mission; she's going to run away from home, as soon as she remembers where she put her bag.
One sentence pitches for my YA Urban Fantasy
ReplyDelete(while completely necessary to have, still very, very, cruel...):
50 Words (well, 49 to be exact):
Being undead isn’t the problem for sixteen-year-old Kat Gamble, nor is being hunted by the legion of Romulaires for the tattered remnants of her soul – but surviving her bond to one of the hottest, most arrogant, teen celebrities to grace the tabloids, well, that just might kill her, again.
25 Words:
Undead isn’t the problem for sixteen-year-old Kat, nor is being hunted for her soul – surviving the bond to an arrogant celebrity…that might kill her, again.