Title: THE PLASTIC SLIPPER
Genre: YA
“If someone tried to put me to sleep, I’d strangle him with his own poisoned apple.”
That’s what Princess Rosaline Gabriella Kingston would say. No wonder her parents' efforts to get their daughter included in the princess fairy tale books always fail. Although pretty, when it comes to princess greatness, Rosy is a few diamonds short of a beautiful tiara.
But even tone-deaf, smart-mouthed princesses have their fair share of enemies. Rosy lacks an evil stepmother, so she has to settle for her deviously innocent cousin, Lady Christina, who's determined to leapfrog Rosy to become the most famous Princess of all.
She succeeds by hiring a lackey to kidnap the young princess. Luckily Rosy is able to escape and gets saved by handsome Prince Edward. Unluckily, she hits her head against a rock during her escape and loses her memory. Stuck in another kingdom with no memory of home, it seems like happily ever after isn’t such a sure thing after all.
THE PLASTIC SLIPPER (52,000 words) is a fairy tale for young adults, combining the charm of traditional fairy tales with a quirky heroine to lead the way.
I want to read this! It sounds like tons of fun. It seems like you've got a kind of anti-hero princess thing going on and I'd love to see how it turns out. Good luck with the contest. Hope to see this on a book shelf soon ;)
ReplyDeleteAwesome concept! However, I think this could be tightened up to be more effective. Typically, including quotes from your book in a query doesn't work well. I think your real hook is the "When it comes to princess greatness, Rosy is a few diamonds short of a beautiful tiara." That's a fantastic line! I'd suggest reversing that with the line before and cutting the quote and "That's what Princess Rosy would say" part.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the third paragraph should start with Lady Cristina, not a pronoun. It's unclear until the next sentence who it refers to.
Great start, best of luck!
I really like the voice in this - it sounds like a fun read. I can't find fault with most of this, but it threw me for a minute when the fourth paragraph starts out with "She succeeds." I thought for a minute that she succeeded in getting rid of Rosey and was now going to be the next princess.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed reading this.
Quirky and original - I like the whole idea. I played around with your three main paragraphs and came up with this:
ReplyDeletePrincess Rosaline Gabriella Kingston is a tone deaf, smart-mouthed princess a few diamonds short of a beautiful tiara. No wonder her parents' efforts to get their daughter included in the princess fairy tale books always fail.
While Rosy lacks the traditional evil stepmother, so she has to settle for her deviously innocent cousin, Lady Christina, who's determined to leapfrog Rosy to become the most famous Princess of all.
Lady Christina succeeds by hiring a lackey to kidnap the young princess. Luckily Rosy escapes and gets saved by handsome Prince Edward. Unluckily, she hits her head against a rock during her escape and loses her memory. Stuck in another kingdom with no memory of home, it seems like happily ever after isn’t such a sure thing after all.
(Just an idea)
Good luck!!
Thanks a lot for your advice! I have been on the fence about the quote. I've been getting yays and nays about it but I am liking the way you guys changed it around!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the quote, although good, it just doesn't work well here.
ReplyDeleteNovel sounds interesting, however.
Fun idea. K.M. Walton put together a nice tight version that captures this fun idea. I agree with the others in losing the quote.
ReplyDeleteI would read more. :D
I love the idea of this - and would definitely request it. I really like the changes suggested above. Your voice is great and Rosy seems like my kind of princess!
ReplyDeleteYou have a nice voice and good sense of fun and action in this query. My concern is that this subject matter, and the story itself, seems more appropriate to the middle grade audience than YA.
ReplyDeleteI think you have room to expand on your plot arc here, if you'd like to include a few more story details.
Nice job.