Dear Elusive Agent:
I am seeking representation for my 72,000 word YA novel, Blackberry Summer.
When fifteen-year-old, Los Angeles bred Shelby Brockhurst travels to Tennessee to meet her relatives for the first time, she thinks she understands why her mom has always been so secretive about them. Shelby’s grandparents are dirt poor, and her cousins are complete barbarians, especially the twins, with their gross preoccupation with bologna rinds and dog butts. Throw in a wild mountain boy by the name of Eddie Pickens, and Shelby begins to wonder why any sane person would stay here.
But as the summer progresses, Shelby discovers the love that holds this family together, and the pain her mother’s leaving caused. She also finds Eddie has a way of making her heart do a crazy little dance every time he comes near.
So, with the help of her cousins, and the involuntary aid of her grandfather, Shelby devises a plan to reunite her mom with her family. She has no way of knowing her actions will uncover an old family secret involving the rape of an innocent young girl, or that they will lead to the renewal of an old love that brings her and Eddie even closer.
I would be happy to forward a full or partial manuscript upon your request. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
I liked this query, not much to add, You've done such a good job. Maybe add something about yourself at the end, but only if it relates to the story. Otherwise, it's great.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with it.
Hi this sounds like a great query. The only thing I would suggest is moving the first line to the end of the synopsis and coming paragraphs 3 and 4. Like this:
ReplyDeleteWhen fifteen-year-old, Los Angeles bred Shelby Brockhurst travels to Tennessee to meet her relatives for the first time, she thinks she understands why her mom has always been so secretive about them. Shelby’s grandparents are dirt poor, and her cousins are complete barbarians, especially the twins, with their gross preoccupation with bologna rinds and dog butts. Throw in a wild mountain boy by the name of Eddie Pickens, and Shelby begins to wonder why any sane person would stay here.
But as the summer progresses, Shelby discovers the love that holds this family together, and the pain her mother’s leaving caused. She also finds Eddie has a way of making her heart do a crazy little dance every time he comes near. With the help of her cousins, and the involuntary aid of her grandfather, Shelby devises a plan to reunite her mom with her family. She has no way of knowing her actions will uncover an old family secret involving the rape of an innocent young girl, or that they will lead to the renewal of an old love that brings her and Eddie even closer.
Blackberry Summer is a 72,000 word (Contemporary?) YA novel.
I would be happy to forward a full or partial manuscript upon your request.(I've heard not to include this because the agents know this already. They'll request it if they're interested.) Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Otherwise, this was a really tight query and sounds awesome! Good Luck!
Sounds pretty solid. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI agree with jasouders (she has an uncanny way of moving pieces around and giving awesome example queries haha). However, the part about uncovering a young girl's rape and the renewal of an old love seem a little superfluous for me. I would put something like "She has no way of knowing the secrets she will uncover or the love she will find." Let the reader/agent discover what those might be. :) One of those extra hooks to make ya wanna read.
ReplyDeleteI hope this helps. Good luck!