Friday, January 22, 2010


Title: Revenge of the Pink Granny Panties
Genre: Middle Grade

I walked into first hour and scoped out the sub. Easy prey. I don't know what kind of life this guy didn't have, but it was about to get a whole lot worse.


  1. The title got me. Love it! I love the voice too. Great hook.

  2. What is first hour? This makes no sense to me.

  3. I'm okay with first hour. That is a term used on both the east coast and in the midwest (places I've lived). What was difficult for me was all the negatives in the third sentence. I had to read it more than once to make sure I was understanding your meaning. For MG I think you will need to make it clearer and tighter. Kind of like: "This guy had no life, and it was about to get worse."
    I do like this. Good voice. I'd keep reading.


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