Monday, January 25, 2010

Entry 10

Title: Retribution
Genre: Paranormal Fantasy

The devil crossed my path this morning. A green-eyed Harley-riding devil. That brief encounter outside in the parking lot was enough to spark a full blown obsession. Like a predisposed addiction, first hit and I was hooked.


  1. This was one of my faves, too. The third sentence can be tightened - parking lot implies outside. Maybe the parking lot is for a strange, fun or ironic place...if so, stick that in there, instead of "outside," to grab the reader even more. LOVE the last sentence!

  2. Thank all of you (final round and first round) who voted and commented on my opening lines - I appreciated them all!


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