Monday, April 12, 2010

Entry 28

Genre: YA paranormal

Seventeen-year-old Darcy Steinberg is a self-professed Star Trek junkie (original series, please) and band geek. Tragically, her mother dies and, with her last breath, whispers a secret in Darcy’s ear, “During my coma I watched you from above, attached to my body by a silver cord.”

Meanwhile, Angelica Mills, a member of the high school’s “it” crowd, experiences a terrible car accident that leaves her in a coma. To her surprise she finds herself floating above her physical body, tethered by a damaged silver cord.

Angie, unable to communicate with the physical world, must discover how to return to her body before her well-meaning family disconnects her from life support. Darcy and Angie, two unlikely friends unite to help each other. Darcy acting as a paranormal detective does everything she can to reach Angie and prove to herself that her mother’s dying words were true. The situation becomes more urgent when convincing others may mean the difference between life and death for Angie. The clock is ticking…

THE SILVER CORD is a 60,000 word paranormal YA novel.


  1. Sounds very interesting...

    I did get confused and have to go back and re-read to figure out who Angie was since she was introduced as Angelica. Obviously the name is similar enough but it did cause a double take.

    I like it!

  2. Interesting premise and the voice comes through in the query. I'm not sure I would tell what the secret is right away. Build a bit more mystery around it in the query.

    Good job, it just needs a little bit more work.

  3. I do have one question: I'm wondering how Darcy and Angie start working together? How does Angie reach out to Darcy?

    I also think the language could be crisper and have more emotional impact. Take the query to the next level, so to speak. Phrases like "tragically, her mother dies" just seem a bit redundant. Of course a death is tragic.

    Good luck!

  4. Jamie Weiss ChiltonMay 7, 2010 at 5:56 PM

    How do Darcy and Angie become friends? My confusion about this makes it difficult for me to engage in the story. You have room to expand and when you clear this up I think you'll have a much stronger query.


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