Monday, April 12, 2010

Entry 42

GENRE: YA Romantic Comedy

Gwen and Jack are best friends. Everybody knows that. At least, they
did before the night that perpetual nice guy Jack got in a fight over
Gwen. Now the school is buzzing with rumors that something more is
going on. Fighting the rumors is like trying to eat one potato

Sure, Gwen knows that her oldest friend in the world would be a great
catch--smart, funny, and not exactly hard on the eyes--but that
doesn’t mean she likes Jack that way. Just because neither of them
really date much and they spend all their time together doesn’t mean
they’re a couple, does it? They’ve got the worlds longest running game
of Risk to finish, after all. And it’s not like those two kisses
counted for anything. Now if Gwen could just get everyone to leave
them alone, maybe she could figure out why she started resisting this
idea in the first place…

I am seeking representation for my Young Adult romantic comedy novel,
complete at 50,000 words. I believe A GAME OF RISK
will appeal to readers who fell in love with characters like those in

Thank you for your generous time, I look forward to hearing from you.


  1. Ah, to be blinded by love - how perfect.

    I think you've done a very nice job wih this query, but I think it could be better if you showed us a bit more conflict. Maybe the conflict is all inner. Is Gwen fighting her feelings for the guy, or is she oblivious to them?

    Good luck!

  2. I like this. It sounds cute and funny and that's a breath of fresh air.

    My only comment is that I wonder how much of a stretch it is that just because Jack sticks up for his best friend, that this starts the rumor there's more between them. Wouldn't he stick up for any of his friends?

    Still, I truly love this storyline and the whole premise. Yeah, if I were an agent, I'd request pages.

  3. This is a really good query, and very different from the paranormal that's currently dominating the market. You've done a great job setting up the situation, but I need more plot besides the one brief mention of the fight. What ups and downs does the MC go through? Are there any rivals or antagonists, for example?

  4. Jamie Weiss ChiltonMay 10, 2010 at 10:09 AM

    You do a nice job showing the dramatic tension of the story in this query. I'd like to know how old Gwen and Jack are -- either through their actual ages or what grade they're in.

    And, while I like the focus on the tension between them, I'd like to get a sense of the other plot points, as well.

    Nice job.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.