Monday, April 12, 2010

Entry 37

Genre: YA Paranormal

Deities and demigods from Celtic folklore to Shinto myth toy with the lives of mortals in PERSONIFIED, my YA paranormal complete at 98,000 words.

Sixteen-year-old Remi Adesina isn’t too interested in becoming a goddess. She’s quite content with being a socially tragic, yet blissfully ignorant human. Hell, before Friday she didn’t even know gods existed. But after she finds one in a city park just seconds away from being executed, she learns more about them than she was prepared for.

Apparently, there’s a whole realm of gods up there and leaving it is a death sentence for any god stupid enough to try it. That’s why none have dared to for centuries— until Set did. Now his divinity’s gone and in losing it, he’s shattered the balance between his realm and the Realm of Humans. To re-establish stability, gods like him usually face execution. But as Remi soon discovers, Set can still keep his gorgeous head if a human becomes divine in his place.

Lucky for him, Remi’s conscience is annoying to an almost unhealthy degree. Unlucky for her, passing Calculus is nothing compared to the trials she’ll have to face to become a goddess.

PERSONIFIED is my first novel and could be expanded into a series. I love putting a fresh spin on fantasy in my writing and since this is a fast paced adventure staged in a unique paranormal setting, I thought it might interest you. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon.


  1. I think this book premise is well defined. The Query is good. A few parts were vague or unclear, but if I were an agent, I would definitely request pages.

  2. I have a thing for Set.


    Not like that!

    I mean, I love mythology, and the fact that you're throwing together some very different deities from all over the world actually piques my curiosity. It could get a bit jumbled, but from your query, it sounds like you have a good grasp on the storyline and you obviously write well. I'd request it in a heartbeat.

    This also reminds me a little of Ah! My Goddess!, if you've ever read the manga or seen the Anime.

  3. I'm torn about putting the title and word count at the top. On one hand, the different folklore/mythology mix might catch some agents' attention. On the other hand, I'm a fan of starting right into the synopsis part.

    Something about the "apparently" kind of strikes me as off, also the "up there." I can chalk it up to voice, but it just seems weird to me. JMO.

    Also, I would skip mentioning that it's your first novel.

    But otherwise, it sounds great. I love the stakes if Remi doesn't succeed

  4. Jamie Weiss ChiltonMay 9, 2010 at 12:42 PM

    A strong query structure with multiple hooks -- folklore and myth, and a reluctant human-goddess transition. I get a good sense of Remi through just a few details. Nice job.


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