Monday, April 12, 2010

Entry 41

Genre: YA

Most teenage girls would give up everything for Jacob Roman, a heart-throb teen rock star, but not Aly Sullivan. Aly aspires to be an architect and has a clear plan to make it happen. She dreams of designing buildings and a normal life which doesn’t involve Jacob, his rabid fans or the paparazzi stalking him.

After having her heart broken by her cheating ex, she isn’t interested in putting herself in that position again, especially not with a known player like Jacob. Her unexpected friendship with his brother Andrew makes him hard to ignore - and even though falling for Jacob definitely isn’t part of her plan, time proves it’s out of her control. When the unthinkable occurs and forces Aly into the life she’s tried to avoid, she fights to stay on the path she so carefully laid out for herself, even if it means walking away from love.

NORMAL is complete at 65,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.


  1. I like the title. It fits this nice concise story premise. Great!

  2. let me just say, 10 points for a concise query that explains the plot clearly! I like short queries.

    good plot idea!

  3. I think you've shown lots of conflict here, and the plot is clear. Good job.

    One thing I would avoid, though, is saying the novel is complete. It should always be complete if you are querying it.

  4. I find the plot and story line clear and well written (good job!)

    Im curious to know Aly's age ... is she in HS, just before, or just finishing, or in the middle? She seems to young to have her career path completely set out but if she were in gr 11 or 12, I could see this clearly.

    Interesting, simple title -- sometimes that's the best thing in the world!

    Good luck!

  5. This sounds so interesting. I would love to read it! And the query is concise and shows some good conflict. Good luck!

  6. Jamie Weiss ChiltonMay 10, 2010 at 10:05 AM

    I like this idea, and think it can be fleshed out more in the query. You have room to expand, and in particular I'd like to know what "the unthinkable" is. From the way it's written, it seems that something unthinkable occurs that forces her to date Jacob. But what could *force* her to date him?

    You have a strong idea here and I'd like to see more details in the query, to know whether the plot hooks me.

    Good work.


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