Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Entry 49

Genre: YA Fantasy

I am seeking representation for my YA fantasy THE WAKING GROVE, complete at 50,000 words.

Melina believes that she’s the last of her kind until a blossom appears at the base of her tree. Much to her surprise and delight, she discovers that the mysterious flower is a young dryad and her soon-to-be-daughter. But as the world changes around her, the humans beyond her borders believe there’s something worth fighting for within her Grove.

As the blossom grows, her powers weaken and the protective veil around her forest falls. Humans are poised to strike and Melina’s time has almost run out. Now she must choose between her life and the one of her unborn daughter. She can regain her strength and bring peace back to the Waking Grove by destroying the blossom, but this is also her last chance of becoming a mother.

If she chooses to allow the tender flower to unwrap and bloom, she risks the Grove's destruction at the hands of man.


  1. I was a little confused because the title said Walking Grove, but then I guess it's the Waking Grove.

    I really love the voice in this, and the idea of her daughter growing from the blossom. Seems different for me.

    But the second paragraph confused me because I wasn't sure who's POV we were in at first. I thought maybe the blossom's power was weakening.

  2. I'd probably take that first line and put it towards the end. Start with the story.

    You also need to clarify what Melina is. It sounds like she's a dryad, but is she a tree or does she have a tree that belongs to her?

    Finally, are there any other characters in the story besides Melina? Does Melina interact with anyone? Good luck!

  3. Hey!

    At the start of this, I was a little confused because I wasn't sure what 'her kind' was. You should also mention her setting earlier on so that readers will get situated into the story sooner.

    Her powers as well need to be better defined, otherwise we won't really know what it is that's weakening as the power grows.

    All in all though it sounds like it can be pretty fun. Just be less vague in your query :D

  4. I enjoyed the voice in this query and the clear conflict outlined for the story. Though, I would consider explaining Melina's responsibility or role to the grove in the second paragraph to help set up the conflict.

    Also, I would look at the last sentence of paragraph two and consider being a bit more specific. What are the humans after in the Grove?

    Good luck.

  5. Jamie Weiss ChiltonMay 10, 2010 at 11:44 AM

    I'd like to get a stronger sense of the action and conflict in this story. Also, how old is Melina?

    You have room to expand here, and I think a bit more detail will help make this as stronger query.

    A good start.


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