Sunday, January 31, 2010

ENTRY 18

THE EXILED - YA

Dear Mystery Agent:

Puppet Masters are after seventeen-year-old Brianna Ridley. But they don’t want her for a puppet, they want her to help turn Earth into their own personal playground.

Brianna always knew she was special--a Halfling, born of a human and an exiled angel. And until recently that never mattered much, until her mother’s people start dying under mysterious reasons and an enemy from her mother’s past comes looking for her. Brianna is rushed halfway across the world to a village in a hidden reality.

Not knowing the reasons behind the abrupt move and unhappy with the decision, she makes living with her Protector--the incredibly sexy but infuriating exiled angel, Patrick--exasperating. But when the puppet masters find her and start turning other people to get to her, Patrick is forced to tell her the truth. She knows the only way to stop them, is to destroy them and turns to him for help. After all who else would be better to fight than an angel from God’s own army. But the more she trains the more attracted to him she becomes and she realizes it isn’t just her life and soul on the line, but also her heart.

THE EXILED is a paranormal young adult novel, complete at 90,000 words.

I am an active member of the RWA and the CFRW.

Thank you for your generous time. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

3 comments:

  1. This sounds really good. Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Few nitpicks: punctuation in the third paragraph. You have a comma between 'them' and 'is' that doesn't belong, and there should be one following 'After all'. I also would like to know her age in the first line.

    It sounds like an exciting story, but the switch from puppet masters to angels stumped me. I really like the halfling idea: part human part exiled angel. That's very cool.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love the idea of the halfling, half human, half angel. A great story idea.

    Just one nit. You used the word 'until' twice in one sentence. Maybe change one of them.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete

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