I want to know what is happening just because of the sentence. It kinds of got my attention when you said "them chickens just flew!!!!"
I like this one. I love the last sentence too.
I would buy this book from this one, simply irresistable sentence.Great hook.
I like this. I've got setting and voice and action. Very nice! And in one sentence. Lovely.
"Brevity is the soul of wit," and you've pulled that off. I wanted more, but that's a good thing. Sounds like a fun read.
Might be a bit nitpicky, but you don't need more than one exclamation point.
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I want to know what is happening just because of the sentence. It kinds of got my attention when you said "them chickens just flew!!!!"
ReplyDeleteI like this one. I love the last sentence too.
ReplyDeleteI would buy this book from this one, simply irresistable sentence.
ReplyDeleteGreat hook.
I like this. I've got setting and voice and action. Very nice! And in one sentence. Lovely.
ReplyDelete"Brevity is the soul of wit," and you've pulled that off. I wanted more, but that's a good thing. Sounds like a fun read.
ReplyDeleteMight be a bit nitpicky, but you don't need more than one exclamation point.
ReplyDelete