Title: Revenge of the Pink Granny Panties Genre: Middle Grade
I walked into first hour and scoped out the sub. Easy prey. I don't know what kind of life this guy didn't have, but it was about to get a whole lot worse.
I'm okay with first hour. That is a term used on both the east coast and in the midwest (places I've lived). What was difficult for me was all the negatives in the third sentence. I had to read it more than once to make sure I was understanding your meaning. For MG I think you will need to make it clearer and tighter. Kind of like: "This guy had no life, and it was about to get worse." I do like this. Good voice. I'd keep reading.
The title got me. Love it! I love the voice too. Great hook.
ReplyDeleteWhat is first hour? This makes no sense to me.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it should say first "period."
ReplyDeleteI'm okay with first hour. That is a term used on both the east coast and in the midwest (places I've lived). What was difficult for me was all the negatives in the third sentence. I had to read it more than once to make sure I was understanding your meaning. For MG I think you will need to make it clearer and tighter. Kind of like: "This guy had no life, and it was about to get worse."
ReplyDeleteI do like this. Good voice. I'd keep reading.