Title: Razor’s Edge
Genre: Romance
The display on his pager said 187. Homicide. They’re playing my song. He struggled to pull his arm out from under the blonde he picked up at the bar. At one point he thought she looked like a model, now, squinting at her in the dim room he revised his opinion. She looked closer to a lonely college kid hiding behind heavy eyeliner, purple nail polish and a bad attitude. At least she hadn’t colored her long blond hair an unnatural shade of black. God, I’ve got to stop drinking.
This is a good hook, but as a reader, I'm a bit confused by the tense changes. It starts with I, switches to he/she, then goes back to I. Great descriptions though; I especially like the contrast of model to college kid.
ReplyDeleteHi there, I like this but I'm a bit confused by the genre. Romance is a really specific genre and this has a lot of non-romance elements in it: homicide, an unemotional encounter with a young woman... reads more like the beginning of a thriller/mystery to me..?
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