ELLIE AND THE FUGITIVE FAIRY - MG
Dear Mystery Agent,
Stubbornly independent twelve-year-old Ellie must stop her parents selling her beloved Strawberry Fields Farm. She also has to figure out what to do about Joy, an argumentative, smelly fairy she accidentally caught and now can't shake off. In fact, it's hard to know which is her biggest problem: keeping track of a lying fairy who'll eat anything not nailed to the floor, coming up with a plan to save the home she loves or learning to accept help gracefully, because without it, she's sunk.
When Ellie jumped for joy that first morning of summer vacation, she had no idea that she would actually catch it. Now she’s stuck with a grubby-faced, rubber-booted, wise-ass fairy who insists that yes, he really is named Joy and would she go get him some soup before he keels over. He also tells her he’s not going anywhere until and unless he earns his freedom by doing her a great service. Thing is, Ellie could use some help. Her parents have decided to give up on their dream, sell Strawberry Fields Farm and move the family back to New York. Ellie is not about to let that happen and, whether or not she wants to admit it, she can’t do it alone. Helped by her melodramatic older sister Nan, her best friend George and a fugitive fairy around whom no cake is safe, Ellie sets out to take the local Strawberry Fair by storm – and to convince the fairy queen to pardon Joy. If that really is his name.
ELLIE AND THE FUGITIVE FAIRY is complete at 48000 words. The blend of ordinary kids, normal life and magic would appeal to fans of Bruce Coville’s Magic Shop series, Sally Gardner’s Lucy Willow or Ingrid Law’s Savvy, as well as to admirers of Diana Wynne Jones’ writing.
I have been working as a technical writer and editor since returning to the United States nine years ago. Before that, I was a regular contributor to the Egyptian English-language monthly Egypt Today and a playwright with my own experimental theater group. I recently had a story published in the Canadian children’s magazine Crow Toes Quarterly and am an active member of SCBWI.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Well, I love this title and the whole concept. I would cut and tighten, you tell us some things more than once and some sentences are a little long. The second paragraph in particular is where I'd streamline. Maybe read this aloud and listen for repetition. I also don't know if "wise-ass" is a good idea, since you're going for voice here, and it's a middle-grade book. Lots of fun ideas and real conflict for your character. I'd read it! I've seen several agents asking for contemporary-based fantasy. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this, I'm not sure what it is about. The first and second paragraphs don't flow well together, and I'm a bit confused at a fairy 'who'll eat anything not nailed to a floor'. That's not very fairy-like.
ReplyDeleteThis needs to be tightened, and you should go through the two paragraphs and see what you can omit. Just choose the main thrust of the story. :)
Good luck!
I think this sounds fun! You can definitely cut the whole first paragraph, though. You essentially repeat the same info in the second para in a much more compelling way.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, I'm intrigued, and would read this.
This sounds like a fun story. I agree that the 1st and 2nd paragraphs are repetitive, but I prefer the first. It's clever.
ReplyDeleteI would leave out the 'ordinary kid' bit and simply state, 'this will appeal to fans of so-and-so'. Also, I'd leave out that you're a technical writer. I think it hinders more than helps.
Good luck!
I like the idea of the story and the fairy sounds great, but I would cut out the first half of the second paragraph to tighten and avoid rerpetition,.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
I agree with Larissa that the first paragraph can go and that the second paraphragh is much more interesting. It just needs tightening. Otherwise, this does sound interesting. And while I agree that a starving fairy isn't very fairy like, it makes for a unique twist on an old story. Looking forward to reading more eventually.
ReplyDelete