Friday, January 22, 2010

ENTRY 37

Title: Survival Instinct
Genre: Mystery

I did not see my lie flash before my eyes-not in the typical sense. I saw instead a slipping away of possiblities- a glimpse of a future I'd no longer have. I didn't have time to analyze this in the moment it took for the speeding vehicle to slam into me.

5 comments:

  1. Spell check babe. ;)

    (It's annoying, isn't it?)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I loved this one. I thought it was well written, except for the typo.

    A great hook. I want to know what happens next.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Along with the typo you are a bit cliche. Life flashing before the eyes. Speeding vehicle slamming into me. I've read it before. Stretch your verbs and adjectives and surprise me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Like the title and the phrase "slipping away." Maybe we could experience some of this slipping with your MC.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I second jennbailey. Otherwise, I think this is excellent. I love the detail of possibilities for the future slipping away rather than a review of the past.

    ReplyDelete

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