Friday, January 22, 2010

ENTRY 16

Title: Clandestine
Genre: Action Adventure Fantasy Romance

Tru’s death is as clear to me now as if I had experienced it for myself. Certainly, I knew she had died, but not the circumstances surrounding it. She was merely six years of age – very young indeed to receive such a monumental gift. Startling to witness, it was, although a necessity if I am to protect her properly.

8 comments:

  1. I find myself quite confused. Tru has died, but that is a gift. It sounds very much like Tru is dead at this particular point in time, yet at the end the narrator speaks as though Tru were still alive.

    Even reading it over again several times, I don't understand what I've just been told.

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  2. Confusing. If this were clearer, I might keep reading. As is, I'd put it down.

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  3. The writing is good, but I'm with the others. I'm terribly confused.

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  4. I'm with you up to the middle of the third sentence. I think some more info is needed so we know why Tru's death is a gift. And it does seem as if she's not really dead. I'm interested to know where this story is leading since it crosses so many genres.

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  5. I agree, the writing is good, but we need to understand a little more in the first paragraph. I read it a few time, but didn't get it.

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  6. I actually really like this one. I'm confused but my interest is definatly piqued.

    very young indeed to receive such a monumental gift:

    this to me says that there is SO much more to the story than what we know, and that its not a typical death.

    I would love to read more of this!

    I disagree with the other comments. I for one like the fact that I DON'T know whats going on and that's exactly WHY I'd keep reading. Nice job.

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  7. Thank you, Karin. That was my goal exactly. I love books that intrigue me at the beginning. It's the confusion, and subsequent curiosity, that keeps me reading - all the while thinking "What's going on?" and "Can I figure it out?". I was hoping to capture that here. :)
    A few words of explanation... In the following paragraphs it is explained that she dies, but is resuscitated and comes back with a "gift" which is coveted by others. Hence, the need for a sentinel, her protector. He is the one writing this chronicle entry.

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  8. I don't know anything from this, except that Tru is dead. At this point (and I'm sorry) I don't really care. You haven't given me a reason to care. A lot of telling here. I am intrigued that death is "a monumental gift".

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