A writer's journey
This is interesting. I would read on to see what happens next and I want to read that note because I'm nosey.
Definitely attention grabbing. How does the novel play out? Does the whole thing happen before the suicide or is this a quote from the actual letter someone else is reading? I might change punctuation after "my suicide note," maybe a dash rather than comma? Maybe someone else will chime in. Would read on to see what happens next.
I think the premise is good, but the grammatical errors caugt me off guard. The title makes me curious, so I'd probably read on. It's very suspenseful.
I like the idea, but not the wording. Starting with a suicide note then delving into the reasons why is a fascinating start (have you ever read Jay Asher's 13 Reasons Why?). But "this is the saddest thing" etc. feels more like a love song.I'd keep reading to find out what's up with the MC, and if they go through with it, but I'd be wary.
First thing that caught my eye about this: run-on. Break this up into two sentences. I might also just consider cutting most of that first half and sticking just with the last half. Something like, "As I write this, I'm not sad because it's goodbye, but because you will read this too late to really understand." Tighten it up, make sure it's not a run-on, and you should be golden.Other than that, it's an intriguing premise. I might keep reading.
I love the words. The grammar detracts from it slightly though, as it's a bit of a rambling sentence.
The sentence feels too long. If you break this into shorter comments I think it would work better. Also, don't tell me your sad. Show me. And surely this is not just sad. This is tragic. I'd love some stronger adjectives. This is an interesting premise. Have you read "By the time you read this, I'll be dead" by Julie Ann Peters? She handles this subject brilliantly. Good luck and keep at it.
You've got my attention. I want to read on and understand why. I do think that the sentence would be better broken up into short bites. Maybe something like this: This is the saddest thing I've ever had to write. My suicide note. I'm not sad that it is goodbye. I am sad that you will read too late to ever really understand.
Okay, that grabs me. I do like Maryea's small twist to it. But good job at hooking the reader.
It's a good hook. I'd definitely read on, the whole time wondering if maybe they'd be able to pull it around in the end.
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