A writer's journey
Wow! I love it. I love the name, Mr. Mustard and the murderous look in his eye. Great Hook! I would definitely read on.
Love the title, love the opener. I guess he could be sitting in an empty tub, but I wasn't sure you needed the "wet to the skin," bit. I mean, his skin would naturally be wet, wouldn't it? Unless of course the tub was empty :)Very fun. I would read on.
Love it! sounds fun, intriquing and I want to know more!I love the title too!
Oh, this is great! I'd read on just because I loved Clue as a kid. LOVE the name.
Love this. Definitely keep reading.Did anyone else imagine him in a tub filled with mustard?
Wow. Love. So clean, simple, and concise. Nothing extra in there that needs to be there. (Though, "in the middle of the tub" is a bit odd. Unless it's a terribly large tub, I think you could get away with just saying "in the tub.")I'm not sure I even really have anything in the way of suggestions or advice on this one. It's amazing. Hooks you, and yes, I definitely did picture him in a tub of mustard. ;)
Short and snappy - would definitely like to read more!
like this a lot and I love the Mr. Mustard touch.For some reason it threw me, though, because it took me a moment to realize he was fully dressed. I just assumed he was taking a bath.
This if great! Putting Mr. Mustard in the tub makes him vulnerable, but the murderous look makes him formidable and I want to know what circumstances caused this. Nicely done.
Oops. Meant to say "This is great".
I want to know more, which is a good thing caused I'd read on.
I immediately think of Clue. And not in a bad way. I'd read on for sure.
Ha ha. Like others I thought of Clue, which for me isn't a bad thing. BUT...you might want to consider if that's the connotation YOU want associated with your piece. I'd certainly keep reading.
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