Friday, January 22, 2010

ENTRY 22

Title: Illusion's Trick
Genre: Fantasy

When other girls at the ages of five and six dreamed of being rescued from high towers by knights in shining armor, I dreamed of being kidnapped.

12 comments:

  1. Me too. :)

    I love this. I would keep reading, 100%.

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  2. What she said. Love it.

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  3. would SOOOO keep reading this. GREAT hook!

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  4. Fantastic! Would love to read more.

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  5. Great hook. Could you just post a comment when this is over and tell us why? :) Like the title, too.

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  6. Very nice! It is a bit long, but I don't know what I'd take out. Maybe the ages. Not sure you need that here. Otherwise, nicely done.

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  7. Oh, I hate to be a party pooper, BUT -

    I really, really like it, just not so much the wording. If you started with "while" other girls etc., it would make more sense. Or when other girls were dreaming, etc.

    I just didn't like "when" for the first word. It didn't work for me.

    But I definitely want to know how this progresses.

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  8. I really like this. It lets me know right away that this is not your normal princess story.

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  9. Great hook. Would definitely keep reading! Might consider changing the "when" to "while".

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  10. Ok, now that the contest is over, for those wondering about this first line, go to http://altrambles.blogspot.com to continue reading a tiny bit.

    The narrator made a wish...it came true...and years later it's about to start haunting her...

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